Unlike the instincts that animals have human relationship is a sum total of one’s emotional, intellectual, and social schooling and becoming. Our relationships with others–humans, animals, and the rest of the world–oscillate between antipathy and empathy; and in between them we have apathy and sympathy.
Antipathy: it is hostility and having a strong dislike or aversion towards others. At items there is an irrational feeling that the other is not like us therefore they are against us. There could be group animosities which has led the world to crusades, jihads, and genocides.
Apathy: it is a state of indifference or lack of interest. It acts as a dampener on progress, a silent enemy of positive change. For example, when citizens become apathetic towards voting or participating in community initiatives, the democratic process weakens.
Sympathy: We see things from our own perspective. We feel sorry for someone's situation based on how we imagine it would affect us. We acknowledge the other person's pain but don't necessarily experience it ourselves. It's a more passive response. We might offer words of comfort or support, but it's often focused on making ourselves feel better about the situation.
Empathy: We try to see things from the other person's perspective. We imagine ourselves in their shoes and attempt to understand their unique thoughts and feelings. We share the emotions of the other person to some degree. We might feel sadness for their sadness, or frustration for their frustration. We can offer more targeted support because we have a deeper understanding of the person's experience. We can validate their feelings and offer to be alongside with them.
Jesus kept appealing to his followers to remain in love by following his commandments; and his commandment is to ‘love one another’ John 15: 9-17). It is good to for us to occasionally check for ourselves the quality of our relationships with one another. Is it stuck in antipathy, or is it moving towards empathy. The Jews had nothing in common with the Samaritans; they were hostile to one another. In John chapter 4 Jesus meets a Samaritan woman: they greet, meet, and converse with one another. They departed with great mutual respect for one another.
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