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Returning to the Feminine: A Path Beyond Aggression

 In the theatre of human existence, we have long celebrated the aggressive, the conquering, and the dominant. Society has painted masculinity in bold strokes of conflict and control, crowning those who fight and defeat as heroes worthy of privilege and power. Yet beneath this constructed narrative lies a deeper truth that challenges our most fundamental assumptions about human nature.

Bobby Jose Capuchin challenged me into the following line of thinking. Science tells us what ancient wisdom has long whispered: we all begin our journey in the feminine form. For seven weeks in the womb, every human embryo follows the same path, undifferentiated and unified. Only then does the divergence occur, as hormones and genetics guide some toward what we label masculine traits, what remains of the early feminine form in men are his nipples. This biological reality suggests that aggression is not our natural state but rather an overlay, a secondary development that obscures our original nature.

If we are all born carrying this feminine essence, what does it mean that society has systematically trained us to suppress it? The answer lies in recognising that patriarchal structures have not only elevated certain traits over others but have fundamentally misunderstood the source of true strength.

When Jesus spoke the Beatitudes on that hillside, he was not merely offering comfort to the suffering. He was presenting a radical reimagining of power itself. He said, "Blessed are those who mourn, blessed are those who are persecuted, blessed are the meek, and blessed are the peacemakers." In a world that celebrated the warrior, the conqueror, the unyielding, these words must have sounded like madness.

Yet look closely at what Jesus was blessing: the capacity to feel deeply, to remain gentle in the face of hardship, to choose reconciliation over retaliation, to show mercy rather than demand justice. These are not signs of weakness—they are the qualities that build lasting communities, that heal wounds rather than inflict them, that create rather than destroy. These beatitudes call us back to the feminine within us all. They ask us to value vulnerability over invulnerability, compassion over conquest, understanding over domination. They suggest that the traits society has labeled as "feminine" and therefore lesser are actually the qualities most essential for human flourishing.

celibacy, gender, feminine, best quotes

Celibacy is about living without gender assertiveness. Gandhi speaking about celibacy says, “By becoming a celibate, a man becomes a women, and therefore he will not violate any.” Gandhi's insight about celibacy reveals another dimension of this truth. When he spoke of becoming "a woman" through celibacy, he was not speaking about gender in biological terms but about transcending the aggressive, possessive impulses that so often drive masculine identity. Celibacy, in this understanding, becomes a practice of moving beyond the need to assert dominance, to claim, to control.

This doesn't mean abandoning sexuality or intimacy, but rather approaching all relationships from a place of reverence rather than conquest. When we stop trying to possess others or assert our will over them, we naturally embody qualities of receptivity, gentleness, and respect—qualities that have been culturally coded as feminine but are actually simply human at their most evolved.

The call to "sustain our feminine" is not a call for men to become women or for women to reject their strength. It is a call for all humans to embrace the full spectrum of our nature. In a world that has glorified aggression, competition, and domination, we desperately need to remember the power of cooperation, nurturing, and emotional intelligence.

This feminine principle shows up in the leader who listens before speaking, in the parent who guides with patience rather than force, in the friend who offers presence rather than solutions, in the citizen who seeks to understand rather than to win. It appears in our willingness to cry when moved, to admit when we are wrong, to forgive when we have been hurt.

Beyond Gender, Toward Wholeness

Perhaps the most profound insight here is that this is not really about gender at all, but about wholeness. Every human being contains multitudes—the capacity for both strength and tenderness, assertion and receptivity, courage and vulnerability. The tragedy of our current system is not that it celebrates masculine traits, but that it has created a false binary that impoverishes us all.

When we can weep without shame, when we can choose mercy over revenge, when we can build rather than tear down, we are not becoming more feminine—we are becoming more fully human. We are returning to that original state before the world taught us that some parts of our nature were valuable and others were weaknesses to be hidden.

In a world still organised around competition and conflict, choosing gentleness becomes revolutionary. In a culture that rewards aggression, practicing compassion becomes an act of resistance. In a system that demands we choose sides, embracing both our strength and our softness becomes transformative. In returning to the feminine within us, we do not abandon our power—we discover what power was always meant to be.

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