Marriage Is Companionship

Marriage brings together two individuals who have lived their own distinct lives, now choosing to begin a new journey together. A common question about any journey is: what holds more importance, the destination or the path itself? What do you think? James Norbury's illustrated book, "The Big Panda and the Tiny Dragon," offers a beautiful insight. When the big panda asks the wise, agile dragon this very question, the dragon wisely replies that neither is as important as the company along the way. Indeed, having a companion until life's end is a profound blessing.

In the biblical tradition, humanity's first challenge was not a lack of food, shelter, or clothing; it was the ache of loneliness. After creating Adam, God observed that it was not good for man to be alone and promised to provide a companion. Giving a human being a spouse to walk alongside is God's divine response to loneliness. Therefore, the most fundamental beauty of marriage is the gift of having a companion. The Catechism of the Catholic Church rightly upholds companionship as the primary purpose and objective of marriage, with all else being secondary. We have given too much emphasis on begetting children, it is important, but not the sole purpose. Family and neighbours get concerned if the couple does not have a child in prescribed time; but their first concern must be the quality of their companionship. This is why you solemnly proclaim, "till death do us part..."

The Gospel of Luke (Chapter 15) presents three parables that speak to the pain of loneliness. We read of a sheep that wanders away and becomes lost and alone, a coin separated from nine others and left isolated, and a son who, full of arrogance and false confidence, leaves home only to find himself lonely in a distant land. In the stories of the lost sheep and the prodigal son, their loneliness is clearly a result of their departure from community and commitment. However, for me, the most unsettling story is that of the lost coin. It speaks of a person who ends up feeling isolated and lonely even within the same house where all others still reside.

Imagine feeling lonely within your own home, without the freedom or power to offer an opinion, contribute to decisions, or simply be heard. This is the very opposite of what marriage should be. Husbands, wives, and indeed everyone in the household, must understand this. The foremost aim of marriage is to ensure that the other person is truly accompanied.

How, then, do we make this profound companionship possible? This brings us to the Gospel passage narrating the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11). The passage begins with the phrase, "On the third day." The miracle occurred on the third day. Could it be the third day after the wine ran out, and they had been desperately trying other ways to manage the crisis? This is plausible, as weddings in ancient Palestine often lasted for days. Whatever the family's shame or distress, "the third day" arrived. The "third day" holds special significance in Christian scriptures.

It reminds us: Do not give up, even if you face a 'Good Friday' in your life – for the 'third day' of hope and new beginnings always awaits.

Finally, to foster this companionship, always behold, look upon one another with reverence and love. And always, make space for the 'seventh jar' – which is Jesus – in your home and in your marriage. His presence is the unending source of grace and joy that fills every moment.

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