Love

When we are driven by measurable outcomes, loving is challenging. We often say, "I love you because you're kind," or "I love you because you make me laugh," or "I love you because you support me." These are beautiful sentiments, aren't they? They speak to qualities we appreciate, to comfort we find, to needs that are met. But what if I told you that the deepest, most authentic love lies beyond these reasons? What if true love is not about the "because," but about the "just is"?

Love goes beyond likes and dislikes. If I do not know why I love you, that is real love; if I know why I love you, it is business, it has a payoff, could be money, emotional support, etc. If there is a payoff, it is not true love, it is business.

This isn't to diminish the joy and value we find in relationships where our needs are met. Kindness, laughter, support – these are wonderful things. But if our love is contingent upon these payoffs, if it's a direct exchange for a benefit, then it risks becoming a transaction. It's like a business deal: as long as the terms are met, the partnership continues. But what happens when the terms change? What happens when the laughter fades, the support wavers, or a new, "better" offer comes along? If our love is built on "because," it can crumble when the "because" disappears.

True love, in this profound sense, is the love that persists even when the reasons are unclear, when the immediate payoffs aren't evident, when the "why" becomes a beautiful mystery. It's the love that sees beyond the temporary, beyond the superficial, beyond even the flaws, to the essence of another being. It's a spontaneous outpouring, a recognition of shared humanity, a connection that defies simple explanation.

This kind of love asks us to be truly present, to appreciate without demanding, to give without expecting. It liberates us from the exhausting game of proving our worth or constantly seeking validation. It frees us from the fear that if we change, if we stumble, if we can no longer provide a specific "payoff," we might lose that connection.

Comments

New Year, New Beginning

The past year was different to different people. Some of us were very successful, won every battle we fought. Some others of us did not win every battle that we fought, might have found difficult even to get up from bed everyday, we just survived. But for both it is a new year. For those very successful, it is time to stand on the ground and not be overconfident, complacent, arrogant and egoistic. And it is also time to give back. And for those of us not very successful we have another new year with 365 blank pages, 365 blank days. It is a fresh new beginning. Start your dream and go all the way. “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth—not going all the way, and not starting”, said Buddha. Every New Year tells that we cannot eternally postpone important things in our lives. We must begin somewhere. How many lives do we have on this earth? One, two, three, four, or more? One of the foremost thinkers and philosophers of China, Confucius, four centuries before ...

2025 Must Create Its Own Art

People are afraid of art, because real art brings the question and the answer into your house. Tonight’s art becomes inadequate and useless when the sun rises in the morning. The mistake lies not in creating art for tonight, but in assuming tonight’s answers will serve tomorrow’s questions. Louise Bourgeois, a French American artist, reflected, “art is a guaranty of sanity;” but that guarantee must be renewed with each dawn, each cultural shift, and each evolution of human consciousness. If some art endures through generations, it is only because of its capacity to speak, its ability to demand fresh interpretations that test and challenge the new. To guarantee sanity in the coming year, 2025 must create its own art. Why create art? Why watch art? Why read literature? True art, in the words of Sunil P Ilayidam, shakes that which is rigid and unchangeable. Art serves as humanity’s persistent earthquake, destabilising comfortable certainties and creating space for new ways of...

Human Empowerment Vs Technological Determinism

This article, Seeking truth in a barrage of biases , presents an inspiring call to action for maintaining our intellectual autonomy in the digital age. Written by J Jehoson Jiresh, it addresses the critical challenge of navigating through algorithmic biases and misinformation while offering hope and practical solutions. The author beautifully frames our modern predicament - how even a simple online search for running shoes can shape our digital landscape - and transforms this everyday observation into a powerful message about reclaiming our agency in the digital world. What's particularly inspiring is the article's emphasis on human empowerment rather than technological determinism. The article presents three key strategies for hope and change: Active critical engagement to question assumptions and challenge biases Seeking diverse perspectives to break free from our echo chambers Demanding transparency and accountability in algorithmic systems Most uplifting is the article...

Fine Ways of Disregarding Vital Issues

Observing the preoccupations of Pharisees, scribes and religious leaders of his time (Mark 7: 1-23) Jesus commended that they have fine ways of disregarding the commandments of God in order to maintain human traditions and interests. They put aside weightier matters to uphold human decrees. In modern politics we hear the jargon, ‘politics of distraction’. In a country of mass illiteracy and unemployment, farmers’ suicide, etc. politicians and other key people divert public attention by discussing building temples, girls wearing hijab to college, etc. Noam Chomsky, an American social commentator says, “The key element of social control is the strategy of distraction that is to divert public attention from important issues and changes decided by political and economic elites, through the technique of flood or flooding continuous distractions and insignificant information.” The corrupt politicians must have learned this strategy from the pickpockets (or is it visa versa): they di...

Religion Must Help Greater Acceptance And Not Control

What if you see people who never came to your church or never were part of the universal Church found with God; forgiven by god, loved by god, helped by god, and even pampered by god? Our average human spirit and mind will feel a bit of discomfort and repulsion. That exactly is what is happening with apostle John in Mark 9: 38-41. Membership in a religion in many phases in history, and religious practices like praying, church-going etc. has become tools and means of exercising superiority and control over others, or it becomes a means to exclude people. In the name of religion and religious practices we take control of what can be done, who can do it, what is good and bad, what is moral and what is immoral. This approach creates an exclusive moral, good, pure, and authentic race or people or group. We keep doing it as individuals and institutions for the fear of losing control over others. And that is the end of humanity. Stopping others from doing good comes from a sickening clo...

Great Teachers Create Vocal Students

Picture a classroom where questions are met with impatience, where unique perspectives are dismissed, where vulnerable thoughts are cut short. Gradually, hands stop rising, eyes avoid contact, and the once-vibrant space becomes a vacuum of missed opportunities and untapped potential. This silence is not respect—it is retreat, it is a silent protest, and it is dissent. When teachers fail to listen, they unwittingly construct invisible barriers. Students quickly sense when their contributions hold no value, when their voices are merely tolerated rather than treasured. The natural response is self-preservation through silence. Why risk sharing when no one is truly receiving? This silent classroom is a warning sign. A teacher who does not listen will soon be surrounded by students who do not speak. Andy Stanley has spoken about it on leadership, "a leader who does not listen will gradually be surrounded by people who do not speak." It is true in every field, including educatio...

Zacchaeus’ Last Will

Zacchaeus, as we know, was a chief tax collector and a rich man (Luke 19: 1-10). He, as any tax collectors of his time would do, used to collect much more than due, even by force and violence. Now we might say, in a very self-justifying manner, that I am not a tax collector, thus this gospel does not concern my life and me. The figures of a survey done on taxes; taxpayers and tax collectors could be quite embarrassing. 72% people do not pay taxes fully or partially. They cheat the country and the government. 26% of people pay the full tax, not because they love their country and its development but because of fear of being caught and punished; they are in a search of completely safe ways of evading taxes. The rest 2% are involved in collecting taxes. They cheat the country and people by collecting more and not correctly accounting for it. That leaves us with a 100% of ‘Zacchaeuses’ in our societies. Thus most of us stand in need of salvation for our families and ourselves. Zacchae...

Inter-religious Sensitivity in the Time of Covid-19

I was religiously pleased and humanly excited to read the story of a Hindu doctor reciting Kalima Shahada for a dying Muslim Covid patient in Kerala. Beevathu, 56 year old, was all isolated from her family in a covid ward. She had been there for 17 days, she was on a ventilator, and it was increasingly clear that there was no hope. After the consent from her family she was taken off from the ventilator. Beevathu lies there between life and death. Nothing more to happen. But like any good dying Muslim, she perhaps wanted to hear the Kalima Shahada (the Islamic oath of faith) to be chanted to her by one of her family members; but there was none, the situation made it so. Dr. Rekha, a Hindu doctor, was attending to her all these days. She knew what was happening, and she also knew what was not happening. Dr. Rekha knew the words of Kalima Shahada , thanks to her upbringing in UAE. She went close to Beevathu’s bed chanted into her ears, “ La ilaha illallah Muhammadur rasulullah...

The Resurrection Of Jesus Is A Testament

Luke begins his gospel with a dialogue between the angel and Mother Mary in preparation for the incarnation. Mary did not understand much, much less did she humanly could believe. The angel told Mother Mary, ‘Nothing is impossible with God’ (Luke 1: 37). This gospel, as in other synoptic gospels, there are many incidents and events proving that there is nothing impossible with God: the lame walked, the dumb spoke, the hungry is fed, and so on. Mary in her own way must have strengthened others and the apostles with these words that she had received from the angel. But as we approach the end of the gospels the situation is so grim, Jesus, the master healer, the wonderworker is arrested, crucified, and buried, and a huge stone was rolled on to the face of the tomb. Humanly speaking everything is over. The disciples are scattered. The apostles are behind closed doors, in fear. The night had fallen. There large stone rolled up to cover the tomb of Jesus is symboli...

SPRINGBOARDS and WALKING STICKS

Search This Blog